Sunday, 19 September 2010

Kodacolor (again!)

So I bite the bullet, break the bank and order an original Kodacolor filter from eBay. It arrives but I can't for the life of me figure out how to fix it to the lens, I conclude there is a bit missing and have another look. Sure enough there's also a filter assembly that comes separately. Luckily the same seller has one and that is now on order but f**king typical eh! And the Kodascope B I was hoping to use is in bits and my attempts to get one of my fellow nutte... er, colleagues to look at it are not going well.

Of course all is now gearing up for the big event in October, Bletchley Park will be giving us the run of the ground floor of the mansion on Sunday 3rd and one of the things we're doing is inviting people without projectors to bring their films in for us to project for them. Of course 99% of this part of the events falls on my shoulders as I'm a qualified film archivist and the others aren't so they've basically put me in charge of this side of things. There is a word to describe how I feel about this- the word is 'EEK!' So all my projectors, having been taken in for PAT testing by our electronics genius, are being stored at the Park. This means I do not have them here at home for the next two weeks. All they need to do now is cut off my testicles and my misery will be complete! Still the 3rd will be a day of near-constant film and there's the film fair at Harpenden next Sunday so it's not all bad. Not all bad but, of course, not all easy because

Nothing's ever f**king easy!

Sunday, 12 September 2010

Pathe Baby and Post

Well readers how about this, for once something that actually came together. I sat down the other night determined to sort out the last couple of issues with my Pathe Baby and would you believe I fixed it! The take-up wheel now rotates and the claw actually comes back far enough to pull the film down properly! Being little more than a glorified toy it needs a little help now and then but, what with being the proud owner of a beautiful Lux, it's not like it will be used very often, but at least it will now give a good demonstration!

Of course these occasional nuggets where things are slightly less not easy (if things were easy I wouldn't have had to fix it in the first place) are always balanced by things that are fully not easy. So it is with the two memory sticks I ordered from eBay, my sister has hers but where the f**k, might I ask, is mine?!

And my Kodacolor filter is sitting waiting in the depot for me to collect tomorrow, whereupon I have to hand over not just the slip that came through the door but £11.36 in customs charges. B*stards!

Nothing's ever f**king easy!

Friday, 3 September 2010

Perfs

Grrrr. Spent some time yesterday repairing a reel of 9.5 sound film. Went to run it today and it tore about three times about 60ft or so from the end. So I stopped patching it up and had another look at it on the rewinds and I've found out why it kept breaking. The last 60ft or so is quite brittle and on practically every frame extending from the top left of the perf almost to the edge of the film are tiny little hairline splits. These aren't actual 'tears' yet, just tiny splits but even the gentle claw on the Super Vox (yes it lives again with it's lovely, very pricey rewound motor!) is enough to push them over the edge and break the film. This calls for preventative measures which means the practically the whole lot will have to be taped to shore up the perforation and prevent the splits turning into tears. Applying splicing tape to every frame over 60ft or so of film is not only going to use up a lot of tape but is going to take quite a bit of time. What's really annoying is that they're not 'proper' tears, just these tiny little hairline splits (which is how I missed them when I was checking through the film yesterday). This is good because it means the damage won't show onscreen but it's frustrating that even the gentlest projection is enough to send the damage 'over the edge'. I've never encountered quite this sort of damage before and I hope I never do again because it's so incredibly finicky and in an ideal world where everything's easy the film would still be strong enough to hold or, better still, the splits wouldn't be there at all, but then

Nothing's ever f**king easy!

Thursday, 2 September 2010

Busy Times

Has it really been so long since my last post, I guess another pertinent question is why isn't it f**king easy to find the time to write blog posts?!

Anyway, good news on the Kodacolor front, I have broken the bank and have an original filter wending its merry way from America!

In other news I have another batch of 1/2" tapes to transfer, put them on the machine to assess them this morning and, of course, all bar one is sticky, and that outstanding one is skip field and needs the other machine which is at home! Typical eh!

I've had someone ask if we can transfer some 10.5" diameter reel-to-reel audio tapes. The short answer is no because the belt on the deck we have is knackered and getting a new belt isn't an option right now.

And it turns out the telecine unit the Trust has is missing its camera and a few other essential bits and bobs. By the time we've done all the work needed it certainly be easier and barely more expensive to just buy a new one so that's been shelved until I can find a way forward on the funding front. If any of my readers has a vast sum of money they would like to donate to a charitable Trust so it can purchase some quality telecine gear do get in touch!

And one of my colleagues asked me today 'why can't things just be easy?' Well, as we know:

Nothing's ever f**king easy!

Wednesday, 18 August 2010

Kodacolor & Projector

Howdy all. It's been a while but, like Kyle's cousin 'I'm baaaack'! So to business.

Was lucky enough to get in touch with someone who had drawn a spec for a Kodacolor filter based on one he'd seen for use with an Ampro (most unusual). I wasn't entirely convinced for various technical reasons but thought I'd give it a go. And it almost worked! I'm convinced the reasons it didn't work were 1) the spec didn't allow for the black spaces between the colour strips and I can only conclude that these are as critical as I thought they were and 2) HAVE YOU EVER TRIED CUTTING SOMETHING TO WITHIN THREE DECIMAL PLACES OF AN INCH?!! That really wasn't f**king easy and I sure wasn't 100% there with that! I've got two options now, either get in touch with someone who has one and take some readings with the calipers (working on it) or find and buy an original (quite rare and often a bit pricey).

As for the second thing I'm a bit reluctant to post it because it makes me look like an utter wally but since it's been so long since I posted I guess you all deserve a treat so have a laugh at my expense. We've got this big film weekend going down at the Trust in October and one of the things we want to do is have interactive displays. So I dug out an old Norris 9.5 projector I knew we had which is equipped with a motor and a handle. The puzzling thing was there was no way to switch off the motor yet keep the light on so why the handle. I then realised the motor was providing fan cooling to the lamphouse but reasoned it must be rigged to turn when the handle does (duh! This is very incorrect for so many reasons and as such is absolutely stupid!) So I had another look today to see how difficult it would be to fit a switch. No problem at all but then one of the other guys said 'well why don't you just take the motor belt off, it's got a voltage control knob so under-volt it a little to compensate for the lack of load and hey presto! Fan cooling and handle operation!'

DUH! DUH! DUH! ERRRRR, BRAAAAAAIN, WHERE ARE YOU? DUUUUUUH!

Talk about trying to create work for yourself. WHY didn't I think of that, SO obvious! If you go around trying to find much more complicated solutions to problems than necessary then you will certainly find that:

Nothing's ever f**king easy!

Monday, 9 August 2010

Word

Had a bizarre experience today with Microsoft Word. I spent some time on Saturday compiling the various chapters of this book I've been writing with my mother into one long document. Some of the material had been originated using Office 2007, some using 2003. When I'd finished it flagged up the usual 'formatting may not be preserved' warning message and I clicked yes. Then yesterday a couple of minor alterations were made and the document saved. Went to open it again today and half the book was missing. Saved it again and more text disappeared from the bottom. Luckily I have all the chapters saved individually and backed up in several places but why the hell would it do that?! What the hell was that all about?! Bloody Microsoft.

Nothing's ever f**king easy!

Saturday, 7 August 2010

Film and Printer

Why is it that the one film I pick up and risk screening without checking turns out to be in a real state all the way through and kept loosing the bottom loop. Luckily it was just a casual showing to my stepfather but it doesn't do my defence of film as the world's best motion picture format any favours!

Good news, my mother and I have finally finished writing our book and today I went to print our first manuscript... only to have a paper jam on the 11th sheet. Easily fixed but bloody typical, like the film it couldn't have just been easy could it?

Two things that should have been so simple and easy but, of course,

Nothing's ever f**king easy!

Wednesday, 4 August 2010

Super Vox Motor

Good news! My Super Vox motor has been sent away for re-winding and will soon be ready! Bad news: it's going to cost a bit more than the £70 originally suggested, nearer £160 actually. Damn! The thing is I'm an unwaged ex-student with two Master's degrees looking for a good job in a market that is never exactly buoyant at the best of times and because of the recession is currently flat as a pancake. I'm holding down two volunteer jobs to try and get the 10 billion years of experience all the jobs that do come up seem to require and as a result I'm not exactly rolling in it. And I'm trying to save up a not inconsiderable sum for a 17.5mm projector and all this extra expenditure really isn't helping!

And what the f**k is with these glass negs, they've cleaned and scanned OK but looking at them now they look and feel like they're coated in oil, don't know what the hell is going on. Is one supposed to use distilled water? Nobody ever taught me this sh*t! I get so annoyed that there is so little information out there when one tries to fill in the gaps in one's knowledge of this sort of thing. I did have a good look around for information on handling glass negatives, I know a bit but things like 'use distilled water' if it is neccessary would have been helpful, as it is there's next to nothing (and one of my master's degrees is in librarianship so it's not like I don't know how to find information). If I wanted to know about diodes or the properties of iron oxide there are more websites than one can shake a stick at but glass negatives... F**king conservators, get some of that knowledge out there. Slipping your uncles and cousins in through the back door and teaching them on the job is all well and crap but what about those of us trying to make their way without any f**king nepotism?! Grrrrr...

Motors, glass slides, torn film perfs, hydrolised videotape binders, why didn't I become a f**king brain surgeon, not much harder and one gets payed a hell of a lot f**king more!

Nothing's ever f**king easy!

Tuesday, 3 August 2010

More Little Things

It really is the little things that get one down. Like trying to convince my 16 year old sister that 99% of modern culture is rubbish (no chance!), wishing I could be bothered to find everything to set the N64 up so I can test how well my soldering the lead of the buster controller has gone. Or that said 16 year old sister would stop wailing like a banshee. Or that I could face going for a quick walk so I might actually stand a chance of shifting some of this paunch I'm cursed with. Or that I could be bothered to get everything together so I can test this sound mixer now that I have a DC supply for it. It's not so much that I'm lazy, more that the N64 and the sound mixer require actually finding things in all this clutter because this small armpit of a room really isn't big enough! Hey ho!

Nothing's ever f**king easy!

Monday, 2 August 2010

All The Little Things

Argh! Glass negs I've had to scan in two sections not stitching together properly, film without any kind of edge markings or where the markings have faded/rubbed away, learning to drive, broken Super Vox motors, trying to finish writing this book, typing handwritten notes up...

Nothing's ever f**king easy!

Thursday, 29 July 2010

Cost & Availability

Lets deal with today's topics one at a time.

The good news is that Network, one of the greatest companies ever, has released a 4 CD set of music from 'The Saint' to compliment their fantastic range (http://www.networkdvd.net/product_info.php?products_id=1154) . The bad news is I haven't bought one single one yet because they're quite expensive and I'm quite poor. The really bad news is I really want a copy of that set but really can't afford the expense at the moment, particularly as I will soon be in need of what little spare cash I do have to pay for having this Super Vox motor rewound (see posts below). Meh! On a similar note that Tondo Junior CT80 I've got my eyes on is also way outside my price range right now. F**king rich people- "I say Cecil, I just bought a new set of nickel plated titanium golf clubs with with Texas leather covered handles and I spent £20,000 having my coat of arms embroidered into the leather on each of them in 18ct gold thread", rich people haven't got a f**king clue!

And now for something money really can't buy short of being able to purchase the rights. I haven't mentioned it on this here blog before but my friends know I get very frustrated at certain TV programmes/pieces of music etc. not having been officially released by the rights holders. For example the BBC has a 16mm telerecording neg of a 1958 production of' 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' directed by Rudolph Cartier himself sitting on a shelf somewhere in the BFI's vaults and it's never been released/repeated. Not even a 'grey market' copy, just nothing. And that's bloody Shakespeare! And boy would I like to see it! It is with deep frustration then if not surprise that I sit here lamenting the lack of a copy of Delia Derbyshire's 'IEE 100' despite an immensely tantalising snippet being played as part of a documentary about her that was transmitted last year. There has been a recent CD of some of her works yet 'IEE 100' is irritatingly absent. THESE THINGS ARE NO BLOODY GOOD SITTING ON A SHELF IN SOME VAULT, GET THEM OUT THERE FOR F**K SAKE!!! And preferably at a cheaper price than the average Network release please! A piano score of David Lee/Hal Shaper's 'Adam Adamant' theme wouldn't go amiss either!

Di-da-di-da-di-da.

Nothing's ever f**king easy!

Tuesday, 27 July 2010

Computers and Glass Negatives

Yes I know, I'm a bad blogger, if one were as irregular in real life one would go and see the doctor. Still here I am and here's some stuff not being easy. Computers. I was having a crack at tracing the olde family tree back a bit yesterday. Couldn't get very far on the side I wanted to because I don't know my great grandfather's name but on the 'other' side I managed to trace back one relative's ancestry to about 1812! But I don't doubt I'd have done it a whole lot quicker if the family computer (pun intended!) wasn't playing silly f**kers! SO f**king slow! The only conclusion I can reach with that one is the network USB stick gets very hot and this is affecting performance. But even so how can it take quite so f**king long to load a simple webpage?! Even on my computer Firefox seems to take several years to load, it clicks and whirrs away, WHAT THE F**K IS IT DOING??!

So I get a message the other day at the archive, a lady has called and wants her collection of glass negatives digitised. With some trepidation I arranged to meet her today. The trepidation arises because the scanner we have at the archive that can handle glass materials can't handle anything larger than about 6"x4" ('standard' size). So I've been hoping and preying they're all 'standard' size. Now what do you suppose happened? That's right, there was a right mish-mash. About a third are standard, the other two thirds are larger and will have to be scanned in sections and stitched together. Now try as I might I cannot make the process work completely seamlessly, it is impossible to get the quadrants to line up pixel-for-pixel because it is impossible to line the negs up precisely straight every time by hand (which is what I have to do). Scanners capable of handling larger glass materials begin at around £500 so we can forget that! On the plus side. even though I have made it clear that the results will not be 100% on the larger negs, I am getting paid to digitise them. But this just means I have to work 110% to get them just as good as I possibly can, I guess that's the downside to having a sense of professional pride.

Once again the solutions are so simple, a better computer/USB stick and a better scanner, these would make my life SO much easier (and I'd get paid the same without having to do 4x the work). Better still couldn't the glass negs have all been 'standard' size? No, of course they couldn't, because that would be easy and, as we know,

Nothing's ever f**king easy!

Wednesday, 21 July 2010

More Film Orientation Issues

Forgive me for dredging up this theme again but honestly...

Today I was trying to catalogue some films that were originally all from the same collection. It's proving incredibly difficult however because every so often the film will not just change horizontal orientation (so all the lettering is suddenly the wrong way round) but switches direction (so one moment it will be running 'forward' then the next scene will be in reverse). I cannot begin to tell you the sort of evil this makes one dream of visiting upon the moron who put the film together like that. If Vlad the Impaler's victims had consisted solely of these people then I, for one, would consider him one of history's greatest agents of justice! Joining film the correct way round and in the correct orientation isn't difficult it just REQUIRES A BRAIN! But no, instead it's taking me ages to sort out and is causing much frustration. And I've got about another six reels to do. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Nothing's ever f**king easy!

Sunday, 18 July 2010

Super Vox 2

I had an email last night from the wizard. He informed me that after many hours of tinkering sorting out a butchered baring and installing a spare Super Vox motor he had my machine was living once more and was ready for collection. I went up and we started to run a film through it to test everything. Then just as we were coming to the end the noise from the motor disappeared and the whole thing packed up! What this means is that I will have to get my original motor professionally re-wound (our little attempt at repair not having worked in the end). On the downside this will cost about £70 and I could do without the expenditure at present but there we are. The major plus is it should 'future proof' the motor for some years, all being well. Of course the easiest thing would have been if our repair or the alternative motor had worked but once again life has proved that:

Nothing's ever f**king easy!

Friday, 16 July 2010

Super Vox

Well I took my Super Vox to my friendly local wizard today and we found out what had been causing the problem. Because it's 70 years old and has been over-oiled all the gunk has eaten away at the insulation (which, as it's that horrid old bootlace stuff, perishes over time anyway) and has caused a fault in one of the circuits. We (I say we...) cut back the wires beyond the fault (right up against where the wiring is very tightly packed- thankfully we didn't have to go any further back) and we (I say we...) have soldered on a new set. Then we added some 'gunk' (better gunk than what was on it before!) to help with the insulation and at that point I left since the gunk had to be left to set.

Best case scenario- we've (I say we've...) got it all right and the thing will work a treat, better than before in fact since we've (I say we've...) cured the rather worrying amount of 'play' in the main shaft with replacement washers which should cure that rather horrible and worrying metal-on-metal scraping sound it made when it was switched on.

Worst case scenario- it doesn't work for whatever reason and the motor windings have to be professionally re-wound. This will cost about £70.

I wonder which it will be, will it be the simple solution or the awkward solution? The cheap one or the expensive one? One thing you can be sure of it won't be the easy one because, as we know:

Nothing's ever f**king easy!

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

F**king Projectors, Sodding Platters and 4 Hours Sleep

Was it really nearly a week ago I made my last post, how one gets distracted by the crud of existence. To start with I am now the proud owner of a Pathe Super Vox which means I have joined that rare breed within a rare breed of being not only a 9.5er but a sound 9.5er! At least I was until yesterday when I was giving a demonstration to the family and the thing packed up about a third of the way through the reel. Now when I try to start it the motor won't turn and it trips the electrics. Luckily I know a friendly wizard who's going to have a look at it on Friday so hopefully...

So last night I had four hours sleep because I dozed off in the evening, this is the one thing I try and avoid at all costs because it always means I sleep badly and it really screws me up. Nevertheless I had to be at the Trust and I consoled myself with the thought that my work was just checking through film prints so it wouldn't involve much in the way of physical exertion. I spent the day shifting boxes and screens and crawling around on the floor try to fit allen screws into a sodding film platter!

Nothing's ever f**king easy!

Friday, 9 July 2010

Sleep

So I go to bed at 3:00 knowing full well I don't have to be up the next day. 8:30 in the morning there's a knock at the door. One of our rabbits has managed to get into next doors garden. A few minutes, some rabbit biscuits and after lunging forward quicker than I ever have in my life I manage to catch the rabbit and lift it back into our garden. I then block up the hole where she got through (tree root had shiften a paving slab creating a sufficient gap) and try and get back to sleep. Unfortunately I'm one of those people who, when they wake up, tend not to be able to get back to sleep again. So that was me awake.

Cut to about 20:00 and I'm totally exhausted. It's too early for bed but, despite the best efforts of my desk fan I doze off in my chair. Then I wake up about 00:00. Now I have the same problem I faced this morning, once I'm awake... this is why I hate dozing off in the evenings because it takes me forever to get back to sleep! So I'm sitting here typing this and wishing I was feeling as tired as I probably will in three hour's time. Luckily I don't have to be up particularly early again but if someone knocks on the door in the morning...

Nothing's ever f**king easy!

Thursday, 8 July 2010

Websites Down, Ignorance & Information

ARGH! Why is it the one day I need to send someone a link to a website that website is down?

And why have I got emails from people making stupid comments in ignorance about things which aren't an issue! I've said it before and I'll say it again ignorance is the number one worst thing in the world, so many of the world's problems and so much that makes nothing in life ever f**king easy is down to ignorance.

And why the hell has someone from a foreign archive emailed me for information on film date codes and identifiers! ME?! I'm just an unwaged ex-student with a master's degree in film archiving, I don't work for an international media archive who should f**king know these things anyway, if they're employing people who don't know what I know then why the f**k are they doing that? Particularly since this particular set of information is on the Internet for everyone to see, haven't they ever heard of Google?! Maybe this is where I'm going wrong, maybe I need to go and work for a foreign archive 'cause I sure as hell can't get a f**king paid job in my own country!

Nothing's ever f**king easy!

Wednesday, 7 July 2010

Kodacolor

Another absence I'm afraid- been cataloguing like mad.

I tried to make a Kodacolor filter today. I had a 2" round of perspex and coloured gels cut to at least roughly the right specifications. Unfortunately when I tested it I met with abject failure (as I predicted in my post below!) I'm guessing it's a question of scale- clearly the projector the system was designed to work with had a smaller lens diameter and this is quite critical. I now need to find out exactly which projector is required (a Kodascope of some kind I believe, but is it the A or the B?! - Fortunately I know who to ask) and try again. Luckily I have access to both models but whether they work or not... Probably not because:

Nothing's ever f**king easy

Sunday, 4 July 2010

Where Have I Been?

My apologies, loyal readers, for not posting these last few days. Where have I been? Well Thursday I was at the archive and ended up swearing at an A3 scanner for not being able to handle book with 'rifts and dips'. Then Friday I just couldn't really get started with anything but I did convert a couple of LPs to CD (not literally!) Then yesterday I went to the Trust's 'outpost' at Duxford (and, because life's a b*tch I forgot my camera, luckily another member of the party didn't!) Then today I have been back at the Trust's homeboy turf doing some more cataloguing. I finished a batch of 35mm film I was working on an had a couple of cans of 16mm I wanted to do so I pulled out the 16mm projector I left ready for the purpose. Of course since Christmas when it was last used entropy has stuck it's smelly claw in with the result that the bulb wouldn't light when I fired it up. Thankfully I have... more than one of my own that do have working bulbs so more home cataloguing for me! In fact that's what I'll be spending most of this week doing since I've taken all days bar Wednesday off work for the purpose as various members of my family are at work/on holiday and the house should be pretty quiet so I can get on with it.

Of course on Wednesday I will be trying to make a Kodacolor filter using coloured gels and clear perspex and if there's one thing I'm anticipating is that it won't be f**king easy because:

Nothing's ever f**king easy!