Kodacolor & Projector

Howdy all. It's been a while but, like Kyle's cousin 'I'm baaaack'! So to business.

Was lucky enough to get in touch with someone who had drawn a spec for a Kodacolor filter based on one he'd seen for use with an Ampro (most unusual). I wasn't entirely convinced for various technical reasons but thought I'd give it a go. And it almost worked! I'm convinced the reasons it didn't work were 1) the spec didn't allow for the black spaces between the colour strips and I can only conclude that these are as critical as I thought they were and 2) HAVE YOU EVER TRIED CUTTING SOMETHING TO WITHIN THREE DECIMAL PLACES OF AN INCH?!! That really wasn't f**king easy and I sure wasn't 100% there with that! I've got two options now, either get in touch with someone who has one and take some readings with the calipers (working on it) or find and buy an original (quite rare and often a bit pricey).

As for the second thing I'm a bit reluctant to post it because it makes me look like an utter wally but since it's been so long since I posted I guess you all deserve a treat so have a laugh at my expense. We've got this big film weekend going down at the Trust in October and one of the things we want to do is have interactive displays. So I dug out an old Norris 9.5 projector I knew we had which is equipped with a motor and a handle. The puzzling thing was there was no way to switch off the motor yet keep the light on so why the handle. I then realised the motor was providing fan cooling to the lamphouse but reasoned it must be rigged to turn when the handle does (duh! This is very incorrect for so many reasons and as such is absolutely stupid!) So I had another look today to see how difficult it would be to fit a switch. No problem at all but then one of the other guys said 'well why don't you just take the motor belt off, it's got a voltage control knob so under-volt it a little to compensate for the lack of load and hey presto! Fan cooling and handle operation!'

DUH! DUH! DUH! ERRRRR, BRAAAAAAIN, WHERE ARE YOU? DUUUUUUH!

Talk about trying to create work for yourself. WHY didn't I think of that, SO obvious! If you go around trying to find much more complicated solutions to problems than necessary then you will certainly find that:

Nothing's ever f**king easy!

Word

Had a bizarre experience today with Microsoft Word. I spent some time on Saturday compiling the various chapters of this book I've been writing with my mother into one long document. Some of the material had been originated using Office 2007, some using 2003. When I'd finished it flagged up the usual 'formatting may not be preserved' warning message and I clicked yes. Then yesterday a couple of minor alterations were made and the document saved. Went to open it again today and half the book was missing. Saved it again and more text disappeared from the bottom. Luckily I have all the chapters saved individually and backed up in several places but why the hell would it do that?! What the hell was that all about?! Bloody Microsoft.

Nothing's ever f**king easy!

Film and Printer

Why is it that the one film I pick up and risk screening without checking turns out to be in a real state all the way through and kept loosing the bottom loop. Luckily it was just a casual showing to my stepfather but it doesn't do my defence of film as the world's best motion picture format any favours!

Good news, my mother and I have finally finished writing our book and today I went to print our first manuscript... only to have a paper jam on the 11th sheet. Easily fixed but bloody typical, like the film it couldn't have just been easy could it?

Two things that should have been so simple and easy but, of course,

Nothing's ever f**king easy!

Super Vox Motor

Good news! My Super Vox motor has been sent away for re-winding and will soon be ready! Bad news: it's going to cost a bit more than the £70 originally suggested, nearer £160 actually. Damn! The thing is I'm an unwaged ex-student with two Master's degrees looking for a good job in a market that is never exactly buoyant at the best of times and because of the recession is currently flat as a pancake. I'm holding down two volunteer jobs to try and get the 10 billion years of experience all the jobs that do come up seem to require and as a result I'm not exactly rolling in it. And I'm trying to save up a not inconsiderable sum for a 17.5mm projector and all this extra expenditure really isn't helping!

And what the f**k is with these glass negs, they've cleaned and scanned OK but looking at them now they look and feel like they're coated in oil, don't know what the hell is going on. Is one supposed to use distilled water? Nobody ever taught me this sh*t! I get so annoyed that there is so little information out there when one tries to fill in the gaps in one's knowledge of this sort of thing. I did have a good look around for information on handling glass negatives, I know a bit but things like 'use distilled water' if it is neccessary would have been helpful, as it is there's next to nothing (and one of my master's degrees is in librarianship so it's not like I don't know how to find information). If I wanted to know about diodes or the properties of iron oxide there are more websites than one can shake a stick at but glass negatives... F**king conservators, get some of that knowledge out there. Slipping your uncles and cousins in through the back door and teaching them on the job is all well and crap but what about those of us trying to make their way without any f**king nepotism?! Grrrrr...

Motors, glass slides, torn film perfs, hydrolised videotape binders, why didn't I become a f**king brain surgeon, not much harder and one gets payed a hell of a lot f**king more!

Nothing's ever f**king easy!

More Little Things

It really is the little things that get one down. Like trying to convince my 16 year old sister that 99% of modern culture is rubbish (no chance!), wishing I could be bothered to find everything to set the N64 up so I can test how well my soldering the lead of the buster controller has gone. Or that said 16 year old sister would stop wailing like a banshee. Or that I could face going for a quick walk so I might actually stand a chance of shifting some of this paunch I'm cursed with. Or that I could be bothered to get everything together so I can test this sound mixer now that I have a DC supply for it. It's not so much that I'm lazy, more that the N64 and the sound mixer require actually finding things in all this clutter because this small armpit of a room really isn't big enough! Hey ho!

Nothing's ever f**king easy!

All The Little Things

Argh! Glass negs I've had to scan in two sections not stitching together properly, film without any kind of edge markings or where the markings have faded/rubbed away, learning to drive, broken Super Vox motors, trying to finish writing this book, typing handwritten notes up...

Nothing's ever f**king easy!

Cost & Availability

Lets deal with today's topics one at a time.

The good news is that Network, one of the greatest companies ever, has released a 4 CD set of music from 'The Saint' to compliment their fantastic range (http://www.networkdvd.net/product_info.php?products_id=1154) . The bad news is I haven't bought one single one yet because they're quite expensive and I'm quite poor. The really bad news is I really want a copy of that set but really can't afford the expense at the moment, particularly as I will soon be in need of what little spare cash I do have to pay for having this Super Vox motor rewound (see posts below). Meh! On a similar note that Tondo Junior CT80 I've got my eyes on is also way outside my price range right now. F**king rich people- "I say Cecil, I just bought a new set of nickel plated titanium golf clubs with with Texas leather covered handles and I spent £20,000 having my coat of arms embroidered into the leather on each of them in 18ct gold thread", rich people haven't got a f**king clue!

And now for something money really can't buy short of being able to purchase the rights. I haven't mentioned it on this here blog before but my friends know I get very frustrated at certain TV programmes/pieces of music etc. not having been officially released by the rights holders. For example the BBC has a 16mm telerecording neg of a 1958 production of' 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' directed by Rudolph Cartier himself sitting on a shelf somewhere in the BFI's vaults and it's never been released/repeated. Not even a 'grey market' copy, just nothing. And that's bloody Shakespeare! And boy would I like to see it! It is with deep frustration then if not surprise that I sit here lamenting the lack of a copy of Delia Derbyshire's 'IEE 100' despite an immensely tantalising snippet being played as part of a documentary about her that was transmitted last year. There has been a recent CD of some of her works yet 'IEE 100' is irritatingly absent. THESE THINGS ARE NO BLOODY GOOD SITTING ON A SHELF IN SOME VAULT, GET THEM OUT THERE FOR F**K SAKE!!! And preferably at a cheaper price than the average Network release please! A piano score of David Lee/Hal Shaper's 'Adam Adamant' theme wouldn't go amiss either!

Di-da-di-da-di-da.

Nothing's ever f**king easy!